University Life 101

5 05 2010

You know the school year’s coming to an end and your student loan is depleted when:

1) You’d rather walk half an hour home from the bar in stilettos just so you can use your last $10 to get a two-cheeseburger meal from McDonald’s
2) You might have to resort to farting in your gas tank in order to get to school because you can’t afford gas
3) You contemplate selling your printing credits for half of what the university is charging to make some sort of an income
4) You’re forced to eat rice cakes with peanut butter and tuna (sans bread) for every meal
5) You routinely change your fave five every month so you can call people long distance without having to pay for it
6) You put your text books up for sale on Craig’s list even though the semester’s not over and you know you’re going to need them for your final research paper
7) The night before the recycling gets picked up, you start racing the homeless guy down the street to see who can steal more bottles off the neighbour’s lawns who have already put out their bins
8) Suddenly, a part-time job at 711 doesn’t look so bad
9) When your student loan first came through you took having a latte from Starbucks for granted. Now you’re stuck sitting in the library at 12:30am with a mug of stale, luke-warm water, that has evidence of Nabob coffee in it, but is so weak it could just be the cardboard cup you taste.
10) Stress = you want a glass of wine
Wine = something you can’t afford
Something you can’t afford = realization that you’re broke and you have 4 research papers to write
Realization = stress
Stress = you want a glass of wine

Lather.Rinse.Repeat.FML.

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